I watched GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH for the first time a few weeks ago (I know, I know), and loved the self-referential scenes. From Phoebe Cates’ Lincoln’s-Birthday-related “Why I Hate Christmas Speech” callback, to Leonard Martin’s criticism of the first GREMLINS movie, the numerous fourth-wall-breaking moments transformed what otherwise could have been a throwaway kids’ sequel into a film still worth discovering twenty years after the fact.
But in a film full of meta scenes, perhaps the mostmeta was the scene where Gremlins interrupt the movie to show clips from a cutie nudie flick, which forces Hulk Hogan to, well… see for yourself:
Shortly after I finished the film, I got online to see if I could find a copy of the novelization, which I vaguely remembered seeing classmates read when I was a kid. I was curious to see how the novelist, David Bischoff, had handled the Hulk Hogan sequence. After laying down $.75 + s/h (thanks Half.com) and waiting a few days, I had my answer. And it was better than I could have imagined:
That’s right, Brain Gremlin waylays the novelist and writes two pages of a Gremlins New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks manifesto. Click on the two images for a bigger picture, or just check out the text below:
There. The novelizer, Mr. David Bischoff, Esq., has been successfully waylaid and is now tied up in the bathroom of his Los Angeles apartment.
Do not attempt to adjust your book.
We have control of the programming.
Please excuse the rudeness. You have previously known me as the “Gremlin that drank the brain fluid” – or, as Bischoff quaintly called me, Mr. Glasses. Believe it or not, in the screenplay, I am referred to as BRAIN GREMLIN.
I want to take this opportunity to talk to you about our philosophy toward life, so that we will not be misunderstood and branded as “monsters.”
Yes, but faithful novel readers, I do not intend to cheat you. In the movie presentation, Gremlins take over the movie theater (ah, what a delicious conceit – excellent, Joe – was that you?) and Hulk Hogan comes to the rescue.
I do believe that Kenneth Tobey of THE THING is somewhere in there.
However, let us deal with more intellectual matters.
In the great paradigm of anti-intellectualism that is the vast American untermenchen, there needs to be a seismic quake of thought, a veritable avalanche of anarchy, to wake you somnambulent beings from your couch-potato torpor.
May I offer you the services of we Gremlins. You may hereafter refer to us as the New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks.
Already our numbers are spreading out from the heart of America to aid you in this endeavor and although you may be viewing this physically for the first time now (except for those lucky citizens of Kingston Falls who received a foreshadow some years ago) our intellectual forces have been at work for some time, albeit embodied in human form.
According to my contacts with our crypto-CD’s the Church of SubGenius it is generally not know, for instance, that the entirety of network television is programmed by proto-Capitalist Democrats.
However, the past is merely prologue, introduction, forward, with some long footnotes thrown in.
Our time is now!
So, my dear readers (oh, the few, the chosen literate who have been intelligent enough to purchase this volume) prepare for a New Age of the New Capitalist Demo -
Oh dear. Mr. Bischoff seems to have successfully axed his way out of the bathroom.
Methinks I need to fly and return this temporarily liberated keyboard to his suburb, urbane and witty prose -
Back I fly to the Clamp Cent…
Wow… those few paragraphs – which contain references to the novelization, the GREMLINS 2 screenplay, Kenneth Tobey and THE THING, Joe Dante, and the Church of SubGenius(!), among other things – are even more meta than the cinematic sequence they’re replacing. Kudos to Mr. David Bischoff, Esq. (apparently he’s a lawyer, as well as an author) for putting waaaay more effort into the novelization than he had to.
If you’re ready to join me in the New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks party, sign up in the comments.
As Mondo is starting more and more projects, I’m getting less and less time to write on the World of Mondo blog, so I’m putting forth a call to arms. If you have a love for comics, movies, Frank Frazetta, posters, music, parties, fun and all things good in the world, shoot me an email at Justin@MondoTees.com. I’m wanting a few good dudes and dudettes to write regularly on the blog. That reminds me, one important thing… YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO WRITE. If you don’t know the difference between their, there and they’re, there is no need to apply.
This is a non-paying job in the traditional sense, but expect lots of cool stuff in return for your services. Spread this around! I want to get this blog to be a well oiled machine!
Three weeks ago I bought what I assume is one of the few remaining presskits for one of my top-five favorite films: TAPEHEADS (1988).
Swanky Modes Presskit
The outside was relatively nondescript (it came in a cheap, black, elementary-school-style folder with a yellow TAPEHEADS sticker plastered on the outside), but it contained 50 or 60 pages of press prepared by the now defunct Clein + Feldman Inc. public relations firm. The lobby card at the top of this post is one of four absolutely mint double-image cards that came in the presskit with their own transparent protective baggie.
But as great as the images and the other promotional material are, the clear gem from the presskit is a two-page “Swanky Modes Chronology,” which outlines a fascinating (but all too brief) backstory for the Swanky Modes, the fictional soul duo – featuring real life soul legends Sam Moore and Junior Walker – that Bill Fishman built TAPEHEADS around.
I recently ran a google search for “best fictional bands,” and – at least according to the top six results (here, here, here, here, here, and here) – not everyone appreciates the greatness of the Modes as much as I do.
In fact, the Swanky Modes don’t appear on any of those “best of” lists (or even get mentioned in the comments), while lesser acts like The Beets (from the Doug cartoon) and The Wonders (from THAT THING YOU DO!) get mentioned over and over. I hope that the publication of what the Swanky Modes were up to before Josh and Ivan began idolizing them will – to some degree – begin to correct this massive oversight.
As far as I can tell, this information has never been published online, and I’m excited to share what is – in my mind at least – a massive addition to the online world’s collective TAPEHEADS/Swanky Modes knowledge.
Swanky Modes Chronology 1
Swanky Modes Chronology 2
1964 – Swanky Modes end record 72 week run at the Apollo Theater.
1965 – Signed to a major label and begin work on their debut album “Thumbs Up“.
1966 – “Thumbs Up“ is released to critical acclaim. Modes sign a multi-record deal and travel to Hollywood to star in their first feature film, “High Noon Wake-Up“.
1967 – The “Brown Album” is released and goes instant gold. The Modes have their first of many re-occuring management disputes.
1968 – The Modes go on the Christmas USO tour with Bob Hope.
1970 – The Modes appear on the Ed Sullivan Show.
1971 – The Queen summons the Modes to perform at a Royal performance extravaganza.
1972 – “That’s Enough of This War Stuff” is released. Modes begin extended European tour.
1973 – Lester marries Olga Von Steistein in Oslo, Norway. Billy travels to India to study with Ravi Shankar.
1974 – “Black and White” album is unreleased due to the oil shortage.
1975 – Modes have their first reunion tour of the Midwest. Bus breaks down in Battle Creek, Michigan where Lester buys a farm and starts raising rhubarb.
1976 – Lester marries Sheena Brawn, a young farming neighbor.
1978 – Modes first album in six years is released, “Modes Fever,” the day after “Saturday Night Fever” hits the stores.
1979 – Billy moves to the Northwest and starts real estate brokering learned by Don Drussel’s Home Extension course.
1980 – Swanky Modes “Get Nasty” is banned from all radio play. Becomes instant collector’s item.
1981 – Billy’s yacht hits land mine in Persia. No one is hurt but he spends one year in an Iranian prison.
1982 – Lester is indicted for bigamy and is extradited to Norway.
1983 – The second Modes reunion tour kicks off in Yonkers, New York, but is cut short when Lester’s sax is stolen.
1984 – Billy and Lester move to California after landing a two year contract on Princess Cruises Oldies But Goodies nights. They anull contract when they find out they are also expected to bartend.
1985 – “New Wheels New Deals” album is released. Modes tour in Japan, sponsored by Tayota.
1986 – Modes third reunion tour of the Southwest is cut short when expected revenue does not meet continued expenses.
1987 – Swanky Modes are seen performing at the Manhattan Club in Santa Monica Mall by Billy Fishman, the soon to be director of “Tapeheads”.
1988 – Swanky Modes star in “Tapeheads”.
I don’t know about you, but I’ll enjoy TAPEHEADS even more knowing that Lester was married twice (at the same time), that Billy spent a year in an Iranian prison, that the Modes put out at least seven albums (Thumbs Up, Brown Album, That’s Enough of This War Stuff, Black and White, Modes Fever, Get Nasty, andNew Wheels New Deals), and that they starred in another film: HIGH NOON WAKE-UP (1966).
Man… I’d love to hear Modes Fever.
And while we’re on the subject of the Swanky Modes, here’s what I believe is the duo’s only late-night appearance, a performance of Ordinary Man (and follow-up interview) on Letterman.
If you want to discuss your favorite Swanky Modes revelation from the chronology, or the greatness of the Modes in general, feel free to do so in the comments.
If you don’t know yet, Mishka x Lamour Supreme x Mondo are releasing one ring to rule them all at this year’s San Diego Comic Con. That ring would be THE RING OF THE DEMON SCOURGE!
Last time I did a post, I took you halfway through the process of creating the severed fingers that these bad boys would be housed on. We left off with Meredith pouring molten clay into the alginate mold of my hand. After she allowed the clay to cool, she popped it out and she got this to work on:
If you’ve never high fived me or shook my hand and don’t what my hand looks like, I’ll tell you this…this is exact! When I showed my Mom these pics, she got all Mom on me and said, “Oh Justin. What if you sell these fingers and someone kills someone and uses the fingerprints on them to frame you. You’d be in so much trouble.” I was all like, “Oh Mom. Come on. They couldn’t do that.” When I went to pick these up the first thing Meredith said was, “Oh before I forget, I scraped your fingerprints from all the fingers so nobody could use your fingerprints and frame you.” WHAT?! That’s crazy! So, I guess everyone take this as a lesson. If you ever get your hands molded, have the artist scrape your prints and for god’s sake, LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! I learned nothing from Mr. T apparently. So, sorry Mom. You were right.
After Meredith scraped my prints clean, she cut my fingers off proper!
See how the middle three kinda look like avocados with the pits dug out and the ring and pinky look normal with the fingernail. Well, we decided to go all out and pour resin for the fingernails so it would be more realistic. Neither Mishka nor Mondo skimp! Once Meredith fixed any imperfections that might have happened when she poured the clay, she made silicone molds of my fingers. Before she pours the silicone she needed to suspend the fingers in mid air in the center of the cups. She wouldn’t tell me how she did it. A magician never reveal their secrets I guess (fuck you FOX):
Shen then pours silicone around the fingers to make the final mold:
When the silicone mold cures, she gets wild and starts pouring the actual fingers.
YEAH! Oh man! When I got the call that they were done and I could come over and take a gander, I really lost it. When I arrived, here is what they had waiting for me…nail included!
And that’s all you get until the third and final chapter when we announce where at Comic Con you can buy these and when we show you final pics of the ring and finger packaging! Until then, wipe up your DROOOOOOOL!
Way back in March, I announced that we had commissioned Jon Vermilyea to produce artwork for the 2009 Fantastic Fest poster. Every year, the Fantastic Fest programmers go all out attempting to bring you things that you’ve never seen before. To me, the poster should be no different. With monsters being the theme this year, we set out to do something we’ve never attempted before. Instead of having a poster with the normal 2 dimensions that you are all accustomed to, we thought, “Why not up the ante and make it 3?!” Here we are…the day has come…I can’t wait any longer…Behold! This year’s 3D FANTASTIC FEST POSTER!
What do you all think? I can tell you that when I first saw the linework for the poster I said “shit” really loud. When I saw this final with color, I said something much worse.
Many of you might be asking, “Well, if it’s 3D, where are all the red and blue lines?” You will find none of that here. We used a very special process called Chromadepth. With your poster you will receive a pair of glasses. The special specks react with the colors and stretch the image to make it 3 dimensional. You can read more about the process here, but essentially, warm colors shoot out at you and cooler colors fall back into the background. If you have 3D Chromadepth glasses with you right now, feel free to put them on and take a gander. If not, feel free to stop in at the Mondo shop anytime and ask to use ours.
Not only did Jon destroy the poster, he did an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT image for the shirt.
So there you have it. This is just a taste of what you can expect from Fantastic Fest this year. We will no doubt have more announcements and surprises for you soon, so stay tuned. The Fantastic Fest poster and shirt will be on sale at Mondo soon!
-Justin
P.S. If you can’t wait to get your hands on the Fantastic Fest shirt from Jon Vermilyea, you can order a DEADLY SPAWN shirt right now! The last run sold out quick so we brought it back in two new colorways…black and slime!
A few days ago, I posted about how Japan had created a 1:1 scale Robotech Gundam for the 30th Anniversary of the MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM anime. Well, they’re at it again!
We can now expect to see a 1:1 scale Tetsujin 28-go aka Gigantor! I’m seriously geeking out over here and trying to think of ANY WAY I can make it to Japan to see these in person.
Not only can you read the full story over at ToysRevil, but they have a link to the production blog where you can keep up with the full sized robots’ creation!
The Gigantor people should fly The Dickies out at the unveiling to have them jam this tune:
One of the blogs I read everyday is our friend Mitch Putnam’s OMG POSTERS. Today I was extra excited to see that he posted up a behind the scenes look at Nowhere Limited getting there poster made at the screen printer we use for most of our posters here at Mondo… D&L Screenprinting! D&L is the seriously the best and I thought our readers would love to see the steps they go through to bring you the quality of prints you’ve come to expect from us.
Click the above picture to see the full story and thanks to Mitch Putnam and Look Into My Owl for the story.
