Thanks to everyone who made it out to our first ever Mondo Mystery Movie! As you may have heard by now, the movie was Akira and the poster was by Tyler Stout. It was a great night, and really nice to have Tyler and his wife here as our guest on his birthday. (We even had cake to celebrate.) People started lining up a few hours in advance of the show, and by 9:30 the line was out the door. We started things off with some tom foolery + sneak peeks of upcoming Mondo projects, and ended the evening with an opportunity to snag Tyler’s amazing rendition of Akira. Already looking forward to the next MMM!
7:30pm
9:30pm
Tyler signing/numbering posters before show
Poster by Tyler Stout. 36 x 24 screen print. Signed and numbered by the artist. Edition of 180.
Poster by Tyler Stout. 36 x 24 screen print. Signed and numbered by the artist. Edition of 80.
If you were there and have photos – we’d love to see them. And stay tuned for news on the next Mystery Movie. It may be sooner than you think…
We announced this back at SXSW, but decided to do a little more in depth look at the game on the blog. When our friend Jason Eisener mentioned he wished there was a HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN game, we set forth to make that dream a reality. Using games like DOUBLE DRAGON 2, RIVER CITY RANSOM and FINAL FIGHT as inspiration, we teamed up with Alamo Drafthouse and Game Salad to create a side scrolling 8-bit NES style bloodbath for the iPhone.
We also put together a full-sized cabinet version of the game for the SXSW premiere of the film.
photo: Jenn Wexler
More levels, enemies and bosses will be made available as free updates leading up to the film’s release May 6. We’re planning to release the game’s soundtrack on the website as well. And look for the brutal Jeff Proctor HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN poster to go on sale this week.
Hobo with a Shotgun: The Game is available here. (Note: It requires iOS 3.0 or higher and is compatible with iPhone 3GS, iPhone 4, 3rd and 4th Generation iPod touch and all models of iPad)
We’re pleased to announce Drafthouse Films’ first DVD release, FOUR LIONS ! You can get your copy online right here or, if you’re in Austin, we highly recommend coming to the release party at the Alamo Village tonight. Not only is it your last chance to see the film on the big screen, but we’ll be raffling off t-shirts and a few copies of the Olly Moss / Jon Contino poster (and selling the DVD, of course).
[I recently bought several packs of film- and tv-related trading cards: everything from Growing Pains to Maverick. I plan to open one pack a week and document every card, sticker, and stick of gum I find. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll discover a hologram or two.]
Full disclosure up front: I haven’t seen Jaws 3-D. For that matter, I haven’t seen Jaws 2, and thought Jaws 1 was just ok the one time I saw it. So, depending on your point of view, I’m either the worst or best person to review a pack of Jaws 3-D trading cards. Given that I have no idea what the plot of Jaws 3-D is, I figured I’d just post the cards in chronological order and tell you what I think the movie is about.
A Topps 44-Card Series - In 3D: The cast of "Jaws 3-D", a terrifying entry in the popular series that boasts dimensional photography and unique special effects.
Ok. A diverse group of water enthusiasts. Other than the dude with a beret, a pretty normal-looking sea-side-living bunch.
Bloody Remains! Kathryn Morgan offers a snack to her friend, the killer whale Shamu.
Hmm. Ok. Didn’t expect to see Shamu. Does part of this movie take place at Sea World?
The New Peril! Kathryn Morgan is shocked to learn that the shark has been transferred to a different tank and may not survive.
Well… there’s another shot that seems to be set in Sea World. That’s strange. Surely the entire movie isn’t water-theme-park based.
Also, I’m pretty sure I can see that dude in the blue gym short’s right ball.
Seeking Human Prey! The horribly mangled body of Shelby Overman is discovered and a startling discovery is made: there's another, even larger shark in the vicinity!
Poor Shelby Overman! Was his (her?) body discovered under that sheet? Pretty convenient for the survivors, though I don’t see how that could possibly be blamed on a shark. There are sharks in this movie, right?
Oh, wait… there’s a shark reference. Apparently there’s an “even larger shark in the vicinity.” Which I presume means the vicinity of Sea World. Not sure how that’s even possible.
Madness and Mayhem! Innocent water skiers are oblivious to the presence of the monster shark..!
Really? REALLY? This movie has a Shark vs. Synchronized Lady Water Skiers scene? Was it a parody? What kind of person would let a shark into Sea World in the first place?
Diverting the Monster! Calvin Bouchard has accidentally allowed the killer shark to enter Sea World!
Oh. A Calvin Bouchard type of person. That jerk.
So after seeing six still images from Jaws 3-D I am thoroughly confused. Partially about the film’s plot, and mostly about how I could have made it 25+ years without knowing that Jaws 3-D was set IN A SEA WORLD! That’s a major cinematic knowledge gap. Thanks for filling it, Topps!
PS: The promised 3-D Viewer? Completely missing from my pack. Who do I call for a refund?
[I recently bought several packs of film- and tv-related trading cards: everything from Growing Pains to Maverick. I plan to open one pack a week and document every card, sticker, and stick of gum I find. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll discover a hologram or two.]
Title: Bill & Ted’s Most Atypical Move Cards Publisher: Pro Set Year: 1991 Details: 10 Triumphant Cards || 1 Contest Scratch-Off Card
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I credit the “69, dudes!” sequence (a joke I didn’t even realize was a joke for many years) for sparking my interest in time-travel fiction where the narrative folds over on itself. In fact, I could draw a straight line from my young love for Excellent Adventure and the Back To The Future trilogy to my adult love for movies like Primer and Timecrimes.
So when I had the chance to pick up an unopened pack of “Bill & Ted’s Most Atypical Move Cards,” I didn’t hesitate. Released in 1991, the set features key scenes from both Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (a film that ranks among my earliest remembered theatrical experiences). I got several excellent cards (including two featuring George Carlin), so let’s get to it:
All We Are Is Dust In The Wind, Dude
There’s really not a bad card in the batch (actually, the Lincoln card is a bit boring). And you can tell that whoever wrote the card-back text was a fan of the films (or at least knew how to talk the talk). Just look at Card #44: Rufus drops by to see his excellent friends and brings them a surprise – the babes in savory clothes! I love that someone got paid to sit around and write these things.
My favorite of the ten cards is #94, which includes a “Bill&TedSpeak to English” dictionary. Despite the fact that I haven’t seen these two movies in at least 15 years (I’m well past due to revisit them), reading the “Bill&TedSpeak” list brings back some vivid memories from my youth. If you can read this list without hearing Bill’s & Ted’s voices in your head, you’re a better man than I:
Loogied – Spit
Station – Greetings, salutations, yes, of course, where do I sign?, way to go, hallelujah, right on, and (of course) excellent!
Most Atypical – Incredible, amazing
Metal Heads – Rockin’ musicians
The Floppy-Eared, Egg-Dropping, Hippity-Hopping Behemoth – The Easter Bunny
Reaped – Killed
The Ugly Red Source of All Evil – The Devil
Your Royal Deathness – The Grim Reaper
The Fugue Dude – J.S. Bach
Beelzebub – The Dude Downstairs
Miscreant – Loser
God’s Finest Planet – Uranus
The Repository of All Earthly Building Materials – Builder’s Emporium
Phantasmagorical – Spooky
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to work at least one of these phrases into a conversation over the next 24 hours. Report back in the comments on how it goes.
The pack also contained an Instant Win card. The grand prize – a bodacious trip to San Dimas, California – was featured on the front of the pack. Incredibly, the first prize was an entire GTE Telephone Booth. I’d love to find out the story of the kid who won that prize. I know that if I’d had an entire phone booth delivered to my parent’s house, I’d have had a lot of explaining to do.
There also was a sweepstakes you could enter to win props from the movie with “an approximate retail value of $25 (but unknown intrinsic value).” If anyone out there happened to be a sweepstakes winner, please let me know what you won!
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately given that it’d be too late to collect), I didn’t end up with a winner:
[I recently bought several packs of film- and tv-related trading cards: everything from Growing Pains to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. I plan to open one pack a week and document every card, sticker, and stick of gum I find. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll discover a hologram or two.]
Many horror fans who were kids in the mid-80s fondly remember Fright Flicks, a short-lived trading card collection that combined stills from (mostly) beloved horror and sci-fi films, lame puns and silly quips, and Ripley’s-style can-you-believe-it? creepy factoids.
The pack I bought contained cards with images from Aliens, Day of the Dead, A Nightmare on Elm Street I, II, & III, Poltergeist, The Fly (1986), Ghostbusters, and Predator:
Of the nine images, my favorite – based on the badass-image/non-sequitur-tagline combo - is the “Okay, Who Took A Bite Out Of My Bran Muffin?”/The Fly card (Card #9). I’ve always been partial to the toungue-in-phone gag from A Nightmare on Elm Street, so Card #8 is a great find for me as well.
The pack also had a striking Fright Night sticker that I’m currently in the process of finding a home for. (One problem with my day job is that I have relatively few occasions to carry a sticker-covered Trapper Keeper):
That's Slimer's chin on the reverse-side puzzle piece
Finally, this pack contained a piece of the ubiquitous Topps chewing gum:
Card-collecting readers of a certain age should get an immediate and powerful sense memory from viewing this image
Although I haven’t had a piece of Topps gum for close to two decades, seeing the stick immediately made my mouth water. Even when fresh, Topps gum wasn’t objectively good. But I remember loving it as a kid because… hey… free gum! Also, it was such an integral part of the card-collecting process (open pack, chew gum, see if you got anything good) that I never even questioned whether it was a good as a stick of Big Red or a chunk of Bazooka Joe (note: it wasn’t).
In the interest of journalistic integrity, I decided to chew the 25-plus-year-old stick while writing this post, and include my thoughts on how it tasted. Like a connoisseur of fine beer, I sniffed the gum before chewing it. I was surprised to discover that it was completely devoid of any discernible odor. I suppose it was made of iocane powder.
Undeterred, I put the gum in my mouth. I expected it to be tough and difficult to chew, but the opposite was true. Within seconds, the gum had completely liquefied, leaving behind a glaze of slightly-thicker-and-sweeter-than-normal saliva in my mouth. I don’t know what the substance was that made Topps gum chewy, but it apparently self destructs in less than two-and-a-half decades.
If I die in my sleep, please bury me under this tombstone:
Best. Epitaph. Ever.
If you remember buying Fright Flicks, let me know your favorite cards or memories of collecting them in the comments.
[I recently bought several packs of film- and tv-related trading cards: everything from Growing Pains to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. I plan to open one pack a week and document every card, sticker, and stick of gum I find.]
I watched GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH for the first time a few weeks ago (I know, I know), and loved the self-referential scenes. From Phoebe Cates’ Lincoln’s-Birthday-related “Why I Hate Christmas Speech” callback, to Leonard Martin’s criticism of the first GREMLINS movie, the numerous fourth-wall-breaking moments transformed what otherwise could have been a throwaway kids’ sequel into a film still worth discovering twenty years after the fact.
But in a film full of meta scenes, perhaps the mostmeta was the scene where Gremlins interrupt the movie to show clips from a cutie nudie flick, which forces Hulk Hogan to, well… see for yourself:
Shortly after I finished the film, I got online to see if I could find a copy of the novelization, which I vaguely remembered seeing classmates read when I was a kid. I was curious to see how the novelist, David Bischoff, had handled the Hulk Hogan sequence. After laying down $.75 + s/h (thanks Half.com) and waiting a few days, I had my answer. And it was better than I could have imagined:
That’s right, Brain Gremlin waylays the novelist and writes two pages of a Gremlins New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks manifesto. Click on the two images for a bigger picture, or just check out the text below:
There. The novelizer, Mr. David Bischoff, Esq., has been successfully waylaid and is now tied up in the bathroom of his Los Angeles apartment.
Do not attempt to adjust your book.
We have control of the programming.
Please excuse the rudeness. You have previously known me as the “Gremlin that drank the brain fluid” – or, as Bischoff quaintly called me, Mr. Glasses. Believe it or not, in the screenplay, I am referred to as BRAIN GREMLIN.
I want to take this opportunity to talk to you about our philosophy toward life, so that we will not be misunderstood and branded as “monsters.”
Yes, but faithful novel readers, I do not intend to cheat you. In the movie presentation, Gremlins take over the movie theater (ah, what a delicious conceit – excellent, Joe – was that you?) and Hulk Hogan comes to the rescue.
I do believe that Kenneth Tobey of THE THING is somewhere in there.
However, let us deal with more intellectual matters.
In the great paradigm of anti-intellectualism that is the vast American untermenchen, there needs to be a seismic quake of thought, a veritable avalanche of anarchy, to wake you somnambulent beings from your couch-potato torpor.
May I offer you the services of we Gremlins. You may hereafter refer to us as the New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks.
Already our numbers are spreading out from the heart of America to aid you in this endeavor and although you may be viewing this physically for the first time now (except for those lucky citizens of Kingston Falls who received a foreshadow some years ago) our intellectual forces have been at work for some time, albeit embodied in human form.
According to my contacts with our crypto-CD’s the Church of SubGenius it is generally not know, for instance, that the entirety of network television is programmed by proto-Capitalist Democrats.
However, the past is merely prologue, introduction, forward, with some long footnotes thrown in.
Our time is now!
So, my dear readers (oh, the few, the chosen literate who have been intelligent enough to purchase this volume) prepare for a New Age of the New Capitalist Demo -
Oh dear. Mr. Bischoff seems to have successfully axed his way out of the bathroom.
Methinks I need to fly and return this temporarily liberated keyboard to his suburb, urbane and witty prose -
Back I fly to the Clamp Cent…
Wow… those few paragraphs – which contain references to the novelization, the GREMLINS 2 screenplay, Kenneth Tobey and THE THING, Joe Dante, and the Church of SubGenius(!), among other things – are even more meta than the cinematic sequence they’re replacing. Kudos to Mr. David Bischoff, Esq. (apparently he’s a lawyer, as well as an author) for putting waaaay more effort into the novelization than he had to.
If you’re ready to join me in the New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks party, sign up in the comments.
THE OTHER HELL is the U.S. title for L’ALTRO INFERNO (1981), a nunsploitation flick directed by prolific Italian genre director Bruno Mattei (credited on the back of VHS box as Stefan Oblowsky) and co-written by Mattei and Claudio Fragasso (he of TROLL 2 fame). Interestingly, Mattei and Fragasso were shooting a second nunsploitation film – THE TRUE STORY OF THE NUN OF MONZA (1980) – at the same time, in the same building, and using most of the same cast and crew.
The Other Hell - Full Artwork
THE OTHER HELL infamously features a scene where a nun boils a baby to death. But don’t worry… the baby gets even:
Goblin provided THE OTHER HELL‘s score, albeit inadvertently: Mattei and Fragasso lifted most of it from Joe D’Amato‘s BEYOND THE DARKNESS (1979). Still, it’s put to good use, as seen here (wait for the catchy groove to kick in at the 30-second mark):
This VHS was released by Inter-Light Video, and primarily uses just four colors (white, black, blue, and reddish-orange) to achieve a simplistic but striking end product. The blood-splattered nun in the bottom right corner is clearly terrified, and I like that it’s unclear whether the nun in the center of the box shares – or is the source of – that terror. The lightning bolt off the tip of the enlarged sword is another nice touch. Incidentally, the artist’s depiction of the terrified nun is a fairly accurate rendition of the source material, as shown below:
The Other Hell - Nun Comparison
More information about THE OTHER HELL can be found at the excellent (but NSFW) Nunsploitation.net.
Poster by Chris Ware. 24 “x 36″ 10 color screen print. Hand numbered. Edition of 400. Printed by D&L Screen Printing. Click HERE to purchase.
Posters by Phantom City Creative 24″x36″ screen print. Hand numbered. Regular edition of 235. Printed by D&L Screen Printing. Click HERE to purchase.
Posters by Phantom City Creative 24″x36″ screen print. Hand numbered. Variant edition of 65. Printed by D&L Screen Printing. Click HERE to purchase.
